1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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