what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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