Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
