I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
