So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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