All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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