Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
