did you get engaged???
Jerry, you need to find god
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
