Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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