im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
