He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I love you.
Bad choice
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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