I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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