theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
