Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
