he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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