How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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