My underwear smells like fireworks.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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