The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
