is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
