it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
