u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
