I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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