I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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