absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
