i was born a porn star she said
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
