So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
