a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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