WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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