She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
