We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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