Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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