so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just googled if crying burns calories
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
