Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
