oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
