"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
