Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
