my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
4 words: hood of his car
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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