I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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