real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
