there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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