Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Randomize
