Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i dont even know how to be here
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
