We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
