Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
