If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
