Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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