I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
