Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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