He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
