Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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