pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
