Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
