Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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