I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
