therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need a beard to bite.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
